1. |
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breathe in
breathe in
i hope you're the first to go
breathe out
it's so dull being a ghost
so exhilarating
what's dormant will remain without a sound
losing sight of myself as i count down the days
i'm slowly accepting that this life isn't for me
can you see me now
i hope you don't find your way out
breathe water till you drown
till you drown
night of lust, the red limousine
where we all have sharp teeth and need to feed
good blood bad blood, for you and for me
for you and for me
for you and from me
i long to leave, this deceit
would you forgive me
i can see you hiding
hide in the dark just like you do
i'm in the seats still crying
i'm in the seats still dying
fly by you in slow motion
what's with all of this commotion
the state of the road is hopeless
and i've fallen asleep behind this wheel
if we crash this car out of this torturous place
how far will we go, how long until it's all erased
in memories of those that kept me sane
the punches you landed that rattled my brain
i need the glass teeth to cover me
the pain to comfort me
the world to swallow me
the limousine to guide me
you can't get me in here
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2. |
Whenever You Please
03:46
|
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robbing all my good
and keeping it for yourself
mental kleptomaniac
taking from me what you lack
life can give and give but take away
without warning
building walls
collecting thoughts
for desolate therapy talks
how are you going to live
when you don't have someone to blame
pick a name, you're all the same
you're all the fucking same
taking the frames down
so i can drown the past out
trying, failing
another day without you
so i face this on my own
i'm failing
failing
take me
do with me how you please, invade me
your concrete, has dried around my feet and bound me to you
you don't
know me
more than
i know myself
you don't
know me
more than
i know myself
so take me
fuck with me how you please, invade me
your concrete, has dried around my feet and bound me to you
now you're going away
i guess you found something better than me
that unfamiliar venom you sling
buried in my skin so you can poison me
whenever you please
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3. |
Store 40
02:51
|
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leave me with photographs
shoebox filled falls to the ground
film leaves blow
plane takes off
worry of don't love me
worry of don't leave me
steal away any fleeting scent i can, out of my mind
rose tinted stark indifference
the world you threw at me
has led me to my grave
and now i'm tired
yet you are nowhere to be found
it's getting late
i'm getting cold
still i refuse to go home
i wander the aisles
throw up my lunch from denial
you fucking liar
i come here every day
to shed the heavy weight
missing your presence while you
fall deeper into your drink
into your drink, eternally
spend your whole life building a table of contents of all the people you meet
the scents you smell and the sights you see
but that doesn't help me figure out me
you never helped me figure out me
you never helped me figure out me, never
the people you meet
the scents that you smell
and all the sights that you see
why did you go
i'm alone at the store
and still i refuse to go
waiting on your phone call
just to, just to ignore it
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4. |
The Cure Of Hopelessness
03:05
|
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don't ask if i'm fine
why can't i drive left or right
i can only go straight down an interstate
till the familiar is bleak
to a nowhere, where
no one knows me, no one needs me
no one needs me anyways
so i scan my thoughts, relive the past
till i find the cure of hopelessness
i'd like to think i have an outlook for myself
a reason to be, i'm here cause you made me
but everything changes
losing sight of myself as i count down the days
your mind is eavesdropping on yourself talk
how can you think that there's nothing wrong
let me go
i sit in the driveway as the raindrops break their legs
they cry as their bodies roll down the windshield
leaving life in dismay
leaving everyone else okay
sitting in the car, drawing this maze on my thighs
there's nothing for me
if i can't live in peace
then i must find the cure of hopelessness
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5. |
1998
03:36
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a lackluster goodbye
who will take care of me when you die
in '98 he was born into the dark
with one special someone trying to fix it all
and i crawled, crawled through the mud
as i ached and i sobbed and i found my way fucking to the
light, collided by the push to do
but held the strength to just say that i'm fine
monochrome, till the glass hits your lips
welcoming unknown, bet you won't remember this
the taste of a drunken palm
is what helped me to establish right from wrong
there's no taking our fucking light
you won't drag us along
you text, i sigh
you call, i cry
at least you can say that you tried
i tried, nothing left
monochrome, till the glass hits your lips
welcome the unknown, bet you won't remember this, right
right
do you call yourself a father, raining hell on my mother
puke in the sink, choke on your drink and get the fuck away from me
how could you call yourself a husband then betray your beloved
puke in the sink, fall out of your seat, get the fuck away
what a peculiar sight
monochrome, till the glass hits your lips
welcome the unknown, bet you won't remember this
in 1998 he was born into the dark
with one very special someone able to fix it all
a standstill
a lackluster goodbye
who will take care of me when you die
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6. |
She's Tired
02:27
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7. |
Backseat Car Ride
04:46
|
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mothers, sisters, family waiting for the creak of the funeral doors
no father, but others with alcohol seeping from their breath
he said he was clean, he promised, now he's scaling the walls on all fours
his ghost walks you down the hall and places you into that uncomfortable chair
the priest stands at his pedestal, nine to five, forcing his thoughts onto yours
when all you can think about is if your footsteps are the reason that everyone's here
was it all me
turning three, nine, fifteen the reason you're now just a dream
backseat car rides without you
trees speed by now black and white, not green
was it all me, was it all
was it all me
me turning three, nine, fifteen the reason you're now just a dream
backseat car rides without you
trees speed by now black and white and not green
what does it even mean
please forgive my joke of a memory
father, can you hear me
i've just turned 23 and i'm trying to be all i can be
all i can be, all i can be
can you hear me
why did you leave me this way
nobody could take your place
a lesson you forced me to learn
i am my own disgrace
and i'm starting to notice everything that you didn't say
i can live a whole life spend it all thinking about those days
i didn't want it to be this way
i'll return everything you gave
why did you leave me this way
nobody can take your place
a lesson you forced me to learn
i am my own disgrace
was it all me
me turning three, nine, fifteen the reason you're now just a dream
backseat car rides without you
trees speed by now black and white and not green
why did you leave me this way
nobody could take your place
a lesson you forced me to learn
i am my own disgrace
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8. |
Alone In The Culdesac
01:55
|
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this monochrome blood
takes color when drawn from myself
four legs bark in silence
i can't hear my ears
i can't see my eyes
and this feeling blinds
why, why can't i move in this light
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9. |
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10. |
That Which Feeds On Life
04:11
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we all have our scars, from loving someone too deeply
and i have mine from you
that which feeds on life
is not unanimous
this red limousine still glows in the mist of my thoughts
i'm just caught in the headlights
drive past the park and break me like you wish you could
and the sounds deafening, it's too much now
i can't hear myself think
everyone has their own pattern to follow
so why'd you have to find mine so appealing
my ears ring
from the lack of empathy leaving your lips
left sleeping alone
i'm scared to get to the heart of my own mind
that which feeds on life, is all that we hold dear
any attempt to cast it out, is done only in fear
that witch feeds on life, she feeds on all you do
we all have our scars and i have all of mine from you
bleed me dry
it's just another time you've watched me die
your comfort is my torment
love swallowed by resentment
it won't end
i hope you reach your end
knowing you put me here
jump through the hoops, can you see me now
can you see me now, can you see me
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